Personal Growth

How Can You Find Yourself? Let’s Talk About It

So can you really find yourself?

I thought about this as I heard multiple people say this over and over in my life. Honestly, I felt like I had to also find myself when I felt lost or inadequate with my lifestyle. I felt a bit empty and lacked enjoyment, or so I thought. I was in my late 20s and felt like I didn’t accomplish much in my life. It seemed as if I lost my way to having the success I so much desired. 

So I tried to ‘find myself.’ But how the heck was I suppose to do that???

How can you find yourself if you don’t even know where to start? I then realized that this was not the right question I was supposed to ask. 

At the end of the day, finding yourself was never the answer. Because there’s no such thing as finding yourself. Maybe finding yourself could be in the sense of finding a particular topic or activity that you’re trying to obtain in your life. But finding yourself is very broad and doesn’t make much sense. 

So I had to rethink my life. 

With much prayer and physical research, I found my answer. 

And I want to share it with you. 

Instead of finding yourself, you need to consider these few things. In this post, we will be discussing why you think you’re lost or stuck in life and how you can live life without believing you’re lost anymore. 

Let’s get started. 

This post is about how can you find yourself

So how can you find yourself?

The question is not how you can find yourself, but what situation are you involved in that’s making you question ‘finding yourself’?

When someone says they need to find themselves, that means they lack something in themselves, or they’re in a place of uncertainty. It might have led you to feel stressed, pressured, upset, and even unsatisfied. It makes you feel as if you don’t know who you are. Sometimes that can be hard to identify, but it can also be relatively straightforward. 

For example, I didn’t like my job as an infant teacher, but it wasn’t my job that I didn’t like. It was how I saw it that made me lose interest in the job. Doing my usual routines of waking up, going to work, seeing the same people, and then going home was sometimes dull. 

There were times where it wasn’t enjoyable at all that I sometimes cried. So, therefore, I lost my enjoyment of the job. I’m not saying that I wasn’t grateful for the job, but the joy wasn’t there anymore. I tried creating an atmosphere of laughter with the babies I loved so much, but it wasn’t enough. 

So I decided to look for another job and found one. Unfortunately, that prospective job didn’t work out, so I looked for another position within my field. Long story short, I worked in two jobs over a year. The good thing about those jobs was that it was flexible, paid well, which I really appreciated. On the other hand, they weren’t fulfilling enough. 

I didn’t know what I wanted in my life until I went back to my ‘roots,’ being a toddler teacher again. I can tell you that it wasn’t the finest idea, but I definitely found out what I thought I lacked and how I could improve my lifestyle.

In the end, what I found wasn’t due to what I lost, but what I should’ve created and embraced. 

My perspective, emotions, and beliefs of a particular situation made me feel this way. I leaned on my feelings so much that I forgot to see the blessings and the good I had. Sure, I wasn’t where I wanted to be, but that didn’t mean I had to feel as if I was lost. 

If you sometimes feel lost or unsure about life, look back into any situation that made you think this way. 

I learned that being an infant teacher was not for me, and realized that being a toddler teacher was my love all along. Crazy, right? I had to jump from job to job to finally understand what I lacked when I could’ve just asked myself a couple of in-depth questions that could’ve led me straight to my answer! A journey is a journey, though, and I am glad that I’ve gone through it. 

Set Up Healthy Boundaries In Your Environment

Losing yourself can seem as if you lost something in yourself. When, to be honest, you could’ve been misguided in your thoughts and actions by hanging out with a particular group of people, particularly if they don’t have your best interest. 

Sometimes, hanging out with a specific group of people may significantly influence your thinking and actions, leading you to feel unsatisfied with your life. It could be words they said or things they’ve done that led you to think differently about yourself indirectly than what you usually believe and value. 

It could be your immediate family, friends, or coworkers that you usually talk to. 

Here are some signs that may have caused you to ‘feel’ lost when surrounded by negative people.

  1. You feel as if you need to strive harder than you’ve already have
  2. You think to yourself that you’re not good enough and want to be liked by them.
  3. You think your situation will never get better 
  4. You believe this person knows what they’re saying, and you ‘follow’ their advice to a T, without considering your own thoughts (values and beliefs)
  5. You agree with everything they’re saying, thinking your input has no value.
  6. You don’t disappoint people, so you make a decision that will make them like you more.

The more you create the boundaries, the better you can get back to your beliefs and values as you start enjoying your life once again, that is yours. Suppose you’re looking to create distinct boundaries in your environment. In that case, I am offering a free 30-45 minute coaching call on where we work together to find Your Why, create a goal, then help you move forward. Click the link to set up FREE coaching with me. You can also subscribe and download my FREE PDF on how to create boundaries via communication. This will help you understand how to set yourself up when communicating with others and be yourself in the process. 

Being Present

If you feel like you lost yourself, maybe you’re thinking way into the future. We have these desires we want to achieve in life, and when we don’t accomplish them at the appointed time, it seemed as if we lost our way. 

You didn’t lose your way, you were thinking wayyy too much. The best way to get where we’re going is by living in the present. Pondering about tomorrow or way into the future can make you excited but also anxious. In the end, you don’t know what’s going to happen in your future, and you get worked up for nothing! Know that your future will be promising, just as long as you tend to the now. 

Several techniques to help you focus on the present is using mindfulness. Mindfulness practice can be used in so many ways and has good results. Being present is a practice that comes in so many ways. But it mostly comes by observing your environment and yourself. Check your breathing, check your thoughts, and look around your room. These sorts of exercises can help increase your attention or mindfulness. 

Create Enjoyment 

Are you currently in a situation that is now stealing your joy? Well, let’s look at it from a different point of view. First off, nothing can steal your happiness at all. It’s usually because you’ve found yourself immersed in the situation that you forgot to carry on your joy or your values with you at all times. This can happen in your job and relationships. 

This doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It means you’re human because humans go through this at times. So to deviate from these situations, we need to figure what led us to feel unhappiness. Was it something that was said indirectly about someone’s glamorous life? Was it due to feeling worked up at your job? Retrace your steps and think back to the situation that made you think that way. 

This is why some of us feel lost or say, ‘I lost my way.’ 

Revise Your Values

What are values? Values are the foundations of our lifestyle, our behaviors, and our attitude towards life. If you value laughter, then you would do, think, and behave in a way that produces laughter in others or yourself. Other values could be servitude, creativity, freedom, flexibility, or education (your general learning of life, not only school). 

If you feel like you want to find yourself, consider your values, and return to them. If you don’t believe your core values or are not living to their extent, it may be time to change those values. Consider things that make you smile, motivate you, helping people, and relax you. 

There you go! I hope you found this post helpful to add to your life. 

Until Next Time, 


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