This subject has been on my mind for a long time. I have always wanted to write this because I have experienced this. I know this is something we have all gone through, and it’s something we all need to face as the truth. It may be hard to admit that we have never done this before, directly anyway, but the experience is still there.
What am I talking about?
Jealousy. Yep, that’s right, jealousy.
Did you ever looked into someone else’s life and wished you had their experience or some aspect of their life (Instagram anyone)? Or have you ever got jealous of something because they had something you want? If you know Cain and Abel’s story in the Bible, then you know what jealousy is all about.
And just know that it doesn’t have to be material things. It can come in many different forms: such as someone else’s happiness (emotion), their motivation to do something, or someone’s perspective of life, especially if yours is the opposite negatively.
If you are tired of getting jealous and want to start creating a life devoid of looking at someone else’s life, let this post change your life, thoughts, and perspective on life, even in the littlest way.
This post will show you hard truths about jealousy and how to overcome it. When you understand these hard truths, I hope it gives you the clarity to shift your mindset and change the way you see life.
This post is about overcome jealousy issues
Lowers your self-esteem
This is by far the lowest of the low. When you look at someone else’s life, when you seem to desire their lifestyle, it makes you look at your own self. With the ‘right’ thinking, and I mean by a negative thought, you will say bad things about yourself. You’ll start to notice aspects of you that maybe you haven’t ever seen before.
You might tell yourself you’re ugly, or my body doesn’t look right. You might say to yourself you’re not competent to create a business because you’re not smart or have the resources to get where you need to be.
Comparing yourself to someone else is another form of jealousy
Your focus is not on the good for others but the bad
In a sense, when you develop jealousy, do you see the good in others or bad? You see them in the bad. How?
Well, let’s say that you and someone else were working on the same business. However, the other person’s success skyrocketed in their income and their customers. At the same time, yours was constant but not as much as the other person.
Suddenly, you start developing resentment; you may even begin to blame the other person. You start saying things like ‘it’s their fault I’m not…’ or ‘ It’s because of them I can’t…’.
You find anything to put the blame on them for your business or your life.
It denies your abilities and skills
When you start looking at someone’s life, what they have or who they are, you deny your own identity. You ignore the person that you are in the present. In a way, you don’t fully love yourself. That doesn’t mean you don’t like yourself, but it does mean that you don’t see yourself as you should.
When you deny your abilities and skills, you deny your own unique view of things. You don’t use your qualities to the full because you don’t fully believe in them. Instead, you desire a quality that someone else has and reject your own.
Let me make this clear: nothing is wrong with desiring a work ethic or a material thing that someone else has. However, if this desire or want leads you to reject anything else in your life that’s good and a blessing in your own life, then you’re living in jealousy.
You will feel negative every day about your life and yourself
In turn, this jealousy will sometimes be seen in your daily lifestyle. You may look at your life, your job, and your family ( not all the time) with a bit of guilt and unhappiness. Your perspective of whatever turned into jealousy will be directed towards things you love to turn it into a burden or something you may not care as much anymore.
You may say things about yourself you’ve never said before. Your behavior may change as well, in how you eat, sleep, and treat others. You may sleep a little late, or you may eat ‘comfort food’ that numb your feelings.
Jealousy will turn things that you have into something that you don’t care for anymore. That desire, that comparison will be the goal you seek. And it will be evident in the things you do, from your job to your lifestyle.
Jealousy will turn your focus on the things you do not have
Don’t you think that all this is already stressful as it is? Being jealous, comparing yourself to others, and even doing things that are not you, are already a problem in itself?
Well, whatever you’re going through, know that living this way is not going to solve your solution of living better or getting better at what you desire.
Here are some ways to overcome the situation.
You can overcome it by practicing gratitude
You may think this is simple, and it is. But for those that have not used this practice before, it may be problematic. In all, it can be done.
Try being grateful for one thing every day and then go down the list. Write at least 10 things you’re most thankful for and observe them all week. I also have a journal prompts on gratitude if you want to take a look see. See if that changes your perspective of things. Look in your house, your car, your closet, and even your favorite Television show. See if there is anything that is helping you in your life to live, breathe and enjoy your today. The purpose here is to shift your mindset into the now, into what you have if your jealousy is a material thing.
You can say these words, “I am grateful for this because it has helped me…”
Turn this into a daily routine, whether in the morning or during the day; use this activity to help you see that what you have is also helpful and beneficial.
You can overcome it by enhancing your skills
It’s normal to see someone succeed higher than you. Still, it is dangerous to use this observation and turn it into envy, resentment, or making yourself lower.
If there is something that you lack in your skills, enhance it. You can even ask the person what tools or resources they used to uplevel their business. With your skills and abilities, you can detect or uncover any enhancement you can make to your business.
You can take online classes as well. There are many courses out there that are dedicated to anyone’s needs. Udemy, for example, helped me complete my coaching certifications. That’s how I earned my Master Mindset Certification. They have multiple online courses dedicated to lifestyle, professional, and business. I recommend it.
You can overcome it by asking for the Fruit of the Spirit
If you’re a Christian, bring these thoughts, these worries, and anxiety to the altar. The Bible says to cast your cares to Him because He cares for you (1st Corinthians 5:7 NIV). He knows what you need, so why focus on what you don’t have? Why focus on another person that has something you want when God is consistently taking care of you (Matthew 6:25-34 NIV)? Maybe that something you want isn’t really what you need! Did you ever think about that?
So if you need help in this area, ask for the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV). You can even look at the opposite of the Fruit of the spirit to help you see how not to live as well (pssst…jealousy is one of them (Galatians 5:20 NIV).
Also, remember the Holy Spirit is also your Counsel. Ask him to counsel you during this process!
You can overcome it by saying the right words, therefore, think the right thoughts
Words are powerful even if you don’t know it. Words can bring happiness, while other words bring us down. Words can encourage us while others, not so much.
Using the words to encourage you and give you hope can help you get out of the slump. Affirmations, declarations, and motivational words are useful for this type of situation.
Here are some you can apply to your life:
- My skills and abilities can be developed.
- My worth is not determined by someone’s else state of living.
- I don’t have (blank), but I do have (blank).
- What I feel is normal.
- Instead of feeling (blank), I choose to feel (blank).
- My future is promising, without a doubt.
You can overcome it by working on yourself
If you’re jealous of how a person looks, why not work on yourself, then? To be clear, make sure you’re working on yourself because you want to, not because of some external awareness.
- If you lack routine, create one.
- If you want to eat healthier, modify your food.
- If you’re going to travel, start small by going to another city and stay there for the weekend.
- If your business is stuck, choose another route.
These changes, though small, can lead to bigger things.
You can overcome it, removing the thing that started the jealousy
If your issue still persists, try to remove it. If this problem is at your job, of course, there’s no way to ignore it. Working on yourself, most of the time, is going to help you overcome this jealousy.
Plus, try to be happy for this person. You don’t know what they have gone through to fully become who they are. Maybe have a conversation with them and get to know them a bit because sometimes jealousy comes from not fully understanding, leading to guessing.
Here are some prompts to get you to start changing your perspective and life as well.
- What is the accomplishment that you’re most proud of this year? How about in a lifetime?
- Name 5 qualities you’re good at.
- What triggered you to compare your life to someone else?
- Are there some skills that you can enhance to better your advancement in life?
- What values do you hold dear to yourself? How can you use these values to help you positively see life?
- What is the thing that you see in the person that you’ve wished you’ve had?
- Is this something that you can work within yourself?
- Does what you see or want with that person align with your values and beliefs?
- Think of a time in your life when you wanted something, but you didn’t get it? How did that make you feel it?
- What purpose will this want to serve you?
- What makes you want that particular thing that you desire?
- Are you grateful for what you have at the moment? If you are, Write down 10 things you’re thankful for.
- Is there something missing in your life that’s targeting you to desire what someone else wants? What is it?
- How do you see yourself in comparison to the person you’re trying to match up against?
- From the recent question, how does that make you feel?
- How do you genuinely want to feel?
- If you could do anything right now to change your life, what would it be?
- What beliefs do you hold when it comes to success, beauty, and lifestyle?
- What can you do to reduce this comparison objective?
I hope you found this post encouraging and hopeful.
Until Next Time,