For some time, I felt as if I wasn’t good enough. For all my life, I felt ugly, misused, and sometimes unappreciated. Feeling like this led me to be insecure about myself, my identity, and my overall life.
I had dreams that were put down because it wasn’t “realistic enough”. Other times, I was taught that wearing a specific type of clothing made you seem unlikable by the opposite sex. Certain people telling you who you are in your life, negatively, and you take it that way because that’s all you’ve known to be.
For years, it’s been like this. And man, when I finally got the courage and the strength to get out of that mentality and lifestyle (because if your mindset is geared toward your negativity, it would show in your lifestyle as well), it definitely was a battle against the flesh and the Holy Spirit. It was a battle against who I truly was against the lies I was being every day my whole life.
But I’m glad I didn’t stick there. I managed and I’m slowly overcoming it! You and I are more than conquerors when we believe and go with this truth!
So I wrote this post about improving how we feel about ourselves. Maybe you’re going through the motion of everyday life and tell yourself ‘you are negatively this and that.’
You don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to stay at your job thinking to yourself that this is all you can do. You don’t have to tell yourself that you are who you are, and nothing is going to change that. And you certainly don’t have to be unhappy!
You were NEVER meant to live an unhappy life! Yeah, sure life sucks at times but living unhappily is not the way to live. That’s a lie that’s been fed subconsciously in your mind that’s been build up so much that you start believing it.
Today, yes today, is the time to start changing your mindset, your lifestyle, and improving your identity of yourself! When you don’t feel good about yourself, especially over time, it becomes a habit. How can you overcome a disturbing habit? By taking action.
Therefore, this post is going to show you how to strategically improve your self-esteem. It will show you the different ways you can improve yourself which will boost your confidence, tend to your self-care, practice mindfulness, and start living an intentional life. Yes, it will be difficult because you’ve been stuck in that mindset for ages, but with discipline and focus on wanting to be the best that you can be, you will get there.
For my Christian believers, God is not a God of negativity. He said that we will have tribulations in this world, BUT HE OVERCAME IT! If HE overcame it, HE has definitely given you the resources to overcome it too. So stay in HIS WORDS, Meditate, and LEAN ON HIM ALWAYS. He will help you overcome ALL YOUR STRUGGLES.
So without further due, let’s get started.
This post is about the strategies to build self-esteem
Meditate On A Bible Verse Of Your Choice
If you’re going through something in your life that leaves you weak, then lean on His WORDS. There are so many bible verses that provide answers to all situations. One bible verse that popped in my mind was when God was choosing another King for Israel, David, in 1 Samuel 16:7. Samuel, the prophet, went to David’s father and saw David’s brothers, wondering which mighty men were going to be the next King of Israel. But God replied with ” But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.‘”
Did you read that? God looks on the inside of a person, not the outside. Therefore, if you want to improve how you look at yourself, you have to look on the inside. You have to change your insides, which then will transition on the outside. Did you know that God used so many people in the bible that were looked at as weak and worthless, but when God called them for His purpose, it wasn’t that their outward appearance changed, but their inward! “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16: 7 NIV
They knew who they were in God, and their outward appearance proved it, the appearance that showed boldness and confidence. They believed in God and God came through in their life.
So if you want to improve how you feel about yourself, you need to first improve who you are within yourself. When you know who you are, especially in Jesus Christ, nothing can shake you. Therefore, improve your worth and who you are as a child of God.
I also think when you feel a certain way about yourself, it waivers. Sometimes you feel up and sometimes down. But I am here to tell you that your emotions do not dictate your life, you dictate how you want to look, how you want to feel, and how you want to take the next step.
So choose a bible verse that helps you stand firm, bold, and confident in who you are in Christ.
Consider The Person You Desire To Be Versus The Person You Don’t Want To Be
When you wake up, how do you feel in the morning? Tired, groggy, unhappy, sad? Well, there’s a way to change that. One good way to go from sad or groggy to happy is by considering who you choose to be for the rest of the day. You can do this the night before or when you start waking up the next day.
The night before, take a moment to think about who you are. Such words you can use are strong, able, worthy, happy, early-bird riser, focus minded person, etc. Use those words or your own and speak them into your life, and BELIEVE IT. When you wake up, I assure you that you will remember the words you’ve said the night before and will definitely use it for the whole day.
You can maximize your word with prayer, quiet time, during your mindfulness routine (shower or breakfast), exercise time, or songs.
So if you desire to wake up and live your day angry or sad, which will show in your job, your attitude and your life, then it will happen. There’s no doubt about it. But if you want the opposite, you want to change how you feel about yourself, whether it is in the morning or your whole life, then by doing this, you’re already set and stone for the life you desire. But first, you need to know who you desire to be before you begin your journey towards it.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I have already written a post regarding this, but it’s something that will always be said and repeated. Why? Because we all do this. We look at someone’s lifestyle and compare it to ours because it’s not the same. I found myself doing this multiple times in the past until I figured out that the more I looked at someone else’s life, the more I couldn’t determine who I was and what I wanted in my life. It brought me low and made me almost hate the person I was. This reason for comparison was also based on past experience but we’re not going to get into that. Self-esteem is about being yourself, which in turn makes you feel better about yourself if you learned to nourish and maintain your wellbeing.
Learn to improve yourself if you need to, but never let yourself think that someone else’s life may be better than yours.
Self-affirmations are an excellent way to identify your strengths, values, and beliefs. This is when you need to practice gratitude and even identify several good things about yourself. Doing this daily or weekly can dramatically increase your positive self-image.
How do you practice self-affirmations? It’s simple, repeat to yourself reasons why you love yourself. Many like to stare in the mirror and list their positive qualities daily. Others find success with writing down five to ten of their favorable traits and skills in a notebook. This can work when you feel inadequate at your job as well. I also have written a post that you can read about on that lists over 35 affirmations you can use for yourself.
The key here is to focus on what you appreciate about yourself, not others. Once you’ve gotten into the habit of feeding your mind with positivity, you will find that the previous negative voice will be silenced. Changing your thinking is crucial if you want to boost your self-esteem and self-worth. You have to believe you are great to exude it (and YOU ARE).
I would also like to mention that words also have power. If you’re having a bad day, don’t get stuck in the negative mode. Though it may feel like a bad day, add a “but” or something that is definite to it such as “for now”. Here are some examples:
- “This is a bad day, for now“
- This happened to me but it’s not the end”
- These words hurt me but…”
- “I am feeling sad, but…”
You can use these for yourself and see how it improves your perspective.
Tend To Your Self-Care
Self-care is an important aspect that should be tended to all the time. There are actually six types of self-care you need to know more about: physical, emotional, social, mental, financial, and spiritual. When you take care of all of them, then you’ve got yourself a person that considers themselves empowered to become their best self.
I’ve talked about the spiritual aspect of self-care when I mentioned bible verses and leaning on God. I also discussed half and half aspect of the emotional and mental aspect of self-care when I mentioned affirmation and desiring who you need to be. However, I did not mention the social, financial, physical aspects of self-care. They will be discussed later in the post.
As I have stated, taking care of yourself is necessary. If you want to improve how you feel about yourself then you need to take care of yourself. You need to consider how you treat others and how others treat you. If you’re looking to others for approval of how they see you or desire to see you, then you’re seeking how others feel about you. This can be a sign of low self-esteem or low self-worth. That is why you need to tend to your social self-care.
Limit your boundaries around people that make you feel low or unworthy. If you need help in limiting your boundaries, check out my 5-6 day email challenge to help you set healthy and appropriate boundaries around yourself and your environment. The more you set healthy boundaries, the better you can build your self-worth and start loving yourself.
Choose Your Company Wisely
Self-esteem starts from within. However, surrounding yourself with positive people will only encourage you to continue to think happy thoughts about yourself.
Choosing a circle who acknowledge your strengths and acknowledge how great you are creating a healthy space. The danger in trying to improve your self-esteem while surrounding yourself with negative people is that their mentality will eventually rub off on you. Bad company corrupts good character.
You’ll begin to live in that space of negative thinking without even realizing the consequences. People who inspire you, motivate you and challenge you are friends that will support your esteem and worth. They respect you, so they would never intentionally try to defile your character. After you’ve built a firm hold on how you view yourself, it will be easy to draw similar likeminded people who think similarly.
At the end of the day, all we have is ourselves, so why not make our life experiences a great one? You have a lot of talents and abilities that the world needs to see. It’s only right that we see the beauty you possess within yourself.
By making the above tips a form of habit, you’ll be well on your way to improving how you see yourself and living a purpose-filled life.
Change Your Wardrobe
Sometimes a change in your wardrobe is necessary. You don’t have to wear the trendy outfit but making yourself look nice can boost the way you look at yourself, therefore, improving your feelings about yourself. Buy yourself a new dress, cut or color your hair, put on some nail polish on your toes and fingers, or wear something that you’ve always wanted to wear for yourself to start building that confidence.
And do those things, not for the sake of anyone else. Do it for the sake of you. You already look good as it is, you’re just amplifying that goodness! This can be an emotional and mental self-care you’re taking care of.
Take Care Of Your Skin
I’m all about natural skin, and the best way of taking care of it is by simply taking care of it. This routine can improve your wellbeing. Using the appropriate skincare products is most definitely important to maintain your natural look. If you’re looking for ways to develop a healthy glow on your skin, I wrote a post on how to achieve it, including facemasks skincare products that work for combination skin.
Live And Eat Well
Eating well and sleeping improves your wellbeing and helps you manage stress better. When you don’t take care of those things, it can harm you a lot, from the health of your brain to your bones. Plus, the type of food you eat or even if you’re lazy affects how you see yourself. If you’ve been working too much all week, you will feel a certain way about yourself. Your emotions can lead you to eat fast processed foods, candy, or lead to eating food when you’re emotional about certain situations.
Don’t let that be you! Instead, consider eating a healthy filling salad, drinking a smoothie, and walking some times per week. I never liked salad at all before I started working full time after college. But the more I ate, the more I loved it, with switching it up of course. It never made me feel like I was full.
Improve yourself with healthy habits by eating right, drinking more water, sleeping your 6-8 hours, and walking or exercising daily to improve your health.
Improve Your Mindset
If your thoughts and feelings about yourself are an overtime practice, meaning that you’ve always felt negative towards yourself, then it comes down to understanding where that came from. Most of the time, a belief or feeling like this may have come from your childhood or a life-changing event. If you take the time to understand your past, you can eventually change your present and future.
So to improve your mindset, there are things you can do. Including the ones I mentioned, thinking positive, and practicing mindfulness are also practices you should partake in every day. With mindfulness, this helps you become aware of yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings. To improve how you feel about yourself, mindfulness will get you to focus on your feelings, which then searches your thoughts. From there, you can banish the negative thoughts or work through your thoughts so you can eliminate the negative feelings about yourself. You can also use mindfulness when you eat, take a shower, or take breathing exercises.
Tend To Your Values
Just as your circles and your thoughts rule your life, so do your values. Values are the little attributes we live by. If you value laughter, then you’ll find yourself watching movies or tv shows that make you laugh or people that tell funny jokes. Think about what your values are and how they contribute to your thoughts. Did you know that you can value negative things too? If you value anger, sadness, fear, self-doubt, they will appear in your life. So change your mindset, align your values and beliefs in your life, and start seeing your life change before your eyes when you start living by the right values. This can definitely improve your feelings about yourself.
Start Pursuing Your Dreams
As I mentioned before, sometimes I felt as if how I looked wasn’t good enough. It made me feel ugly that I was very insecure. There were also other times where I felt that I wasn’t making a difference in my job, which made me feel also insecure and uncertain of my own skills and abilities.
After some years later, my direction led me to build a personal growth and lifestyle blog, which I am doing now. Since then, creating a blog was the best decision I have ever made. It made me feel so much better about myself because this is where I could truly express my creativity and help those who need a bit of self-improvement in their life, as I am learning as well.
Maybe your job is the cause of how you feel about yourself. Maybe you’re not participating in the hobbies you love or would love to try out. If you want to be happy, then you need to take the time to make yourself happy. If your job is not giving you satisfaction, try a side hustle that will eventually turn into your business. Or take up a hobby that you can after work.
You deserve to feel good and happy about your life, even if some part of your life may not be so happy. Having a balance is necessary. So pursue your dreams by practicing the piano, painting, or even making knitted blankets, whatever you find yourself to do that makes you happy.
By making the above tips a form of habit, you’ll be well on your way to improving how you see yourself and living a purpose-filled life designed by and for you.
There you go. I hope you found this post well and may you continue to see yourself as a unique, talented, beautiful individual who has a lot to offer.
Until Next Time,