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As humans living on this earth and actually living in everyday life, we’re all going to have difficulty in our life. Some of us will have it the hardest while some not so much. But the difficulty will always be there but it’s about perspective.
Unfortunately, just as life is difficult, so are people at times. We all deal with difficult people. Shoot, we’re all difficult to deal with at times when something goes wrong in our life. But when someone overdoes it or constantly do it every day to the point that it is ingrained in their character, then something is wrong. Whether they are at work, within our family circle or friend circle, difficult people will be identified by their actions.
Do you think you’re a difficult person to be with? Have you ever been labeled as a difficult person? We humans aren’t perfect at all, therefore, identifying these traits can prove most helpful to improve and better ourselves. If you know someone that may be seen as a difficult person to deal with, this post can help you understand why they are who they are and how to deal with them properly.
So, let’s get started.
This post is about dealing with the difficult person in our circle.
Before we get started on how to deal with difficult people, we need to know the reason behind their ‘difficultness’ (I don’t think that’s a word). It could from numerous amount of things but in this post, I will only name one reason they’re difficult to deal with, and that is due to low self-worth.
Self-worth basically means that you have a good opinion of yourself. You may see yourself as a kind, loyal, or helpful person. However, it can be distorted by any sort of negative experience, or even trauma, ranging from childhood to even a bad relationship.
Therefore, their negative mindset and attitude about life or people are a bit deformed. They radiate this negative ‘energy’ to people based on how they feel or think. They criticize others for no apparent reason.
When I see people living that way, it hurts a bit. I mostly feel bad about their experiences rather than themselves. It wasn’t their fault that this negative experience happened to them (most of the time), but what made it worse is that they let that experience change them horrifically.
So to deal with these difficult people, there are certain ways to do just that.
Don’t Take Their Comments Seriously
Have you ever been on social media where this one influencer whom you admire talks about something you believe and value, then all of a sudden, someone pops up in the comments and start criticizing their lifestyle? You ask yourself ‘why would this person do such a thing?’ This scenario can also be seen in your workplace. They may comment on your lifestyle, complain about you or other people, or make you feel uneasy about yourself when you’re around them.
When you experience this, what you may need to do is study the situation objectively. Meaning, do not take it to heart. If you don’t know the person really well or not at all, that relieves you from leaning on your emotions. Know that what they may say to you may hurt you, but also know that they’re hurt first. When you comprehend this concept, you’re more inclined to deviate from your emotions and see the person as they really are. Don’t stand for it, keep moving.
Start Setting Healthy Boundaries
Sometimes, boundaries may be formed to protect yourself. Setting healthy boundaries does not only protect you from a difficult person but also protects you from falling into a negative mindset. There several reasons for setting healthy boundaries, which I have written in another post if you want to know more.
RELATED POST: 6 Ways On How Set Health Boundaries
It’s probably easy setting healthy boundaries outside of work. However, if you’re in a situation where it’s mandatory to work with your coworker who is difficult to work with, then you may have to speak to your coworker or your manager about the situation. This would be you, the coworker, and the manager together to discuss the matter. Make sure you’re respectful and appropriate, not bashing the person you don’t want to work with.
Another way to go about working with someone whose difficult is also being forefront honest. Since you can’t ignore them, giving them honest feedback and requesting boundaries may be helpful. Sometimes that may or may not work out, but if you know what you need in the workplace, then setting boundaries will be necessary to construct.
If need help in setting healthy boundaries, I have a 5-6 day email course that focuses on setting healthy boundaries. This email course goes through the benefits of setting boundaries, why it’s important, and much more. Sign up today and start taking more care of yourself, self-care that is!
Simply Ask Them
Sometimes the most easy yet difficult thing to do is simply ask them why they are who they are. Or most specifically, why they promote such a partiucalr actions towards you and others. If they lash out at you concerning this question then simply let it go. There’s no further reason to bring it up again. If they felt touched by what you said but they slowly talk to you about it, then you may uncover why they do what they do.
Sometimes you may not even have the words to say to this particular person whom you find difficult. If you need assistance, there are numerous books you can read that can help you on how to communicate with difficult people, even for yourself if you’re a difficult person to deal with at times. There is this book by Renee Evenson, who addressed this problem real well. His book is called The Powerful Phrases For Dealing With Difficult People. In this book you’ll be able to apply effectual phrases and actions (325 total) that will definitely help you deal with difficult people but also develop you as person. Check out the book!
Nourish Your Yourself
If you’re a person that dwells on negativity, then that difficult person will easily trigger you to fall futher into a negative mindset. But if you constantly work on yourself by nourishing your mind, your lifestyle, then whatever comes at you will never break you. There are certainly several ways to tend to yourself to protect yourself from difficult people.
One way is to develop an attitude of gratitude. Another way is to set a routine that revolve around things that make you happy. From a morning coffee to soft music, set your day well with good things.
As mentioned, one of the reason why someone might be difficult is due to low self-worth. Therefore, in the morning when you wake up, list 5 things that you like about yourself and embrace it. The more you care for yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spirtually, the more you’ll radiate positivity in your environment. Developing a habit like this promotes confidence, positivity, gratitude, and so much more.
If you’re a difficult person yourself, know this:
Most positive, productive people have little tolerance for people who constantly complain but don’t take any action to change what they don’t like. Think about the things you say, and the thoughts that are floating around in your brain… are they mostly positive, or mostly negative? If they’re mostly negative, learn to acknowledge your negative thoughts, but immediately turn them around into something positive. In the end, if you can’t turn your words or action around and say something positive, don’t say anything at all.
RELATED POST: 16 self-care activities to do on the weekends
That’s it! I hope you found this post useful.
Again, if you need help setting boundaries around difficult people or even just want to set healthy boundaries for yourself, sign up for my 5-6 day setting healthy boundaries challenge. You’ll learn the benefits of setting boundaries, why it’s important to you and others, tips on how to respectfully say no when you say yes to things you didn’t want to do in the first place, and how to set boundaries properly. Check it out!
Tell me, how do you set deal with difficult people? Are you a difficult person yourself? What are you doing to manage it?
Until Next Time,