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Personal Growth

Why Does Life Seem Unfair? Let’s Talk About It

Have you ever found yourself thinking why life can seem so unfair? Especially when considering your life? 

You’ve had expectations of your life going this way and that, but nope, life gave everything you didn’t want. And that sucks!

Trust me, I’ve been there. Following my parents’ footsteps, I went to college, chose a major I loved, expected to have a great career, and a family after that. However, life didn’t certainly happen that way. I felt betrayed, angry, and a bit apprehensive. 

My job wasn’t what I thought it would be, which led me to consider my purpose in life. 

Now, to get to the question: is life unfair? Well, yes and no. Life can be a beautiful thing and it can also be disastrous. In the end, though, life is life. There’s nothing you can do to change ‘life’ itself. You can’t grab life by the hand (or neck) and tell it to make your life go as pleasant and awesome as possible. 

It doesn’t work like that. When you ask a question like that, it leads to, how can I say this…obsessed or misdirected? What I’m saying is that life, though it can be either good or bad, cannot create a life you so desired. 

I could’ve put the blame on life for the numerous amounts of time disappointment came into place. And sometimes I did blame ‘life’ for my relationships, going to school, etc. But I figured out that I can’t be blaming life anymore. 

All these choices that I made in my life, were my CHOICES. The expectation of my choices was that it was going to end well, but in reality, it didn’t (at least not in the time frame I expected). You see, when you make a choice and expect these things to happen, though such a notion can work, it can fail. That’s when you feel as if things aren’t working out in your life and you just want to give up. 

So the better question is what can I do when life seems unfair? 

So what am I saying? Life is life, you can’t control it. But what you can control, or mostly WHO is yourself. That’s fact and truth. So if you want to thrive in life,

  1. stop blaming life for your choices
  2. let go of your expectation
  3. live in the present moment

Now, I’m not saying that you can’t make goals in your life. If you desire to become a doctor, you want to travel the world, or even just want to be happy in life, create those goals right now. Make plans but don’t expect them to come to you at the time you expect them to come, because, sometimes, it won’t. Maybe you’re a big dreamer and who wants to own a multimillion-dollar company. You certainly cannot expect it to build it in a year. Life is certainly not like that. 

You can ask any of these billionaires who created Tesla or Apple. It took a while to get where they needed to be, but they also encountered some unfair things in their life.

If you want to thrive in life and achieve your version of success, you must learn how to shift your focus from the fact that life isn’t fair to the most important thing impacting your personal success, which is you. By focusing on who you are and what you want to pursue, you can guide your potential to the progress, and ultimately, success.

So this post is going to provide through several ways to remove yourself from the ‘life’ you can’t control to YOU, who you can control. 

This post is going to provide guidance based on the questions ‘why does life seem unfair?’

Encourage a Mindfulness Practice

Mindfulness has become one of my favorite practice. It’s the practice of being aware of yourself and your environment, without judgment or criticism. To help you become more aware of yourself, you have to know yourself. 

I can tell you now that for one thing, if you’re reading this, you put the blame on others rather than yourself. That’s something to be aware of. How do I know that you that sort of thing? As the title stated, ‘why does life seem unfair?’. This is basically you putting the blame on life when life is really nothing more than just random circumstances!

You can put the blame or say to yourself that life is unfair, but in reality, is it helping you progress when you say that? Is it helping you reach your destination or reach your happy life? Eh, I don’t think so. 

So let’s be aware of this thought and understand life is not going to change anyhow, but you can.

Another thing I know about you, if you’re reading this, is that you place expectations on things. When something you’ve placed in the world doesn’t back the way you expected, then you start putting the blame on things or others. 

You shouldn’t put the blame on yourself either, just to clarify that. Things happen, unfortunately, but that shouldn’t lead you to quit or feel defeated. 

If you’re seeking a thriving, happy life, know yourself. You need to write down some things about yourself. Such as what makes you angry, what makes you happy, and/or what are your life goals. I even have a journal prompts post that guides you to uncover yourself generally if you want to check it out.

Implementing a regular routine of mindful awareness of yourself is a regular process of checking in to understand how you’re thinking and feeling, what is driving your desires and motivations, and what rests behind the actions that then gives you the ability to make changes within yourself. 

When we gather information about ourselves, we become empowered to identify patterns in our thinking and behaviors that are not serving us, so we can make the change to help us move forward. 

when you make a choice and expect these things to happen, though such a notion can work, it can fail. 

Believe In Your Abilities

As I mentioned, you cannot blame life for something that didn’t turn out well for you. That can also lead you to question yourself. You may be blaming things then leading back to blaming yourself. 

It breaks my heart when people go through that. First of all, don’t blame yourself. Your skills and abilities are nothing to blame or be shameful for. Sure you can take classes and courses to enhance your skills, but the skills itself is not the blame. Sometimes it takes a little oomph to truly believe in yourself. 

Let go of the self-blame, self-doubt, and start thinking about how you can better your situation. What sort of ideas or practice can you do to move forward? Believe that you are capable of doing great things. That sometimes requires the enhancement of your skills, the removal of a habit that hinders your progress, and so on. 

When you understand what you are able to do, you are more likely to put yourself in situations and take chances that will result in favorable outcomes. 

This is another self-awareness practice. By understanding what you’re able to do, this can support the process by making you aware of your strengths as well, therefore, giving you more information about your abilities. The knowledge of your abilities and strength can help you overcome challenges and make paths towards your goals. Research supports this by showing that those who have a high level of confidence in their abilities have a greater ability to manage stress and are more resilient in the face of trauma. 

Figuring Out Your ‘Why’

For anything, figuring why you do that you do is essential to help you keep moving forward. You can tell yourself that is life unfair all the time, but it is never going to help you reach your goals. By identifying your strength, enhancing your abilities, and believing in yourself, can underlie why you still choose to pursue your life goals. 

When dealing with hardships, tapping into your ‘why’ or purpose for something is oftentimes the determination needed to extend support when life is generally unfair. Finding your ‘why’ serves as motivation in the midst of the discouragement when dealing with the unfairness in life can bring.

It is the purpose behind why you are pursuing a specific goal or fighting for a certain cause that will strengthen you, keep you focused, and ultimately assure you don’t stop until you reach your ultimate destination.

Set Goals For Yourself

Our life is a never-ending pursuit to seek goals that will make us happy. Setting goals is another way to focus more on yourself than your circumstances in a way that is going to produce actionable results. Setting goals means that you take the matter at hand, interpret it, and break it down in a way that makes the tackling aspect of it manageable.

By making tackling these goals, this allows you to put energy into what you’ve invested in. Then, as success is achieved within each of the smaller established goals, confidence is increased, and motivation is gained towards the completion of the larger goal. This continues to feed your inner ambition to work until the larger goal is met, ultimately driving progress.

Recognize that your goals will be completed, as long as you give your all while also enjoying the journey. 

While you cannot escape the unfairness of life, spending time on what matters, such as pursuing goals that matter to you while also understanding who you are, you’ll be able to tap into what you need to conquer challenges and overcome difficulty. It is when we recognize the strength within ourselves that we become truly great. 

There you have it. I hope you’ve read this post with the notion of changing your thoughts and focusing on what matters. 

Until Next Time, 

Simply Alia

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